Raising Kids and Dogs Together: Our Tips for a Happy Home

There’s a moment in every family that is instantly remembered: the front door opens and a puppy tumbles into the house while the children celebrate in a way that cannot be scripted. It’s pure, chaotic, wonderful magic.

Yet, every parent will tell you that dogs are not toys and children are not naturally gentle towards puppy-creature whisperers. A happy home takes a little work to build.

As parents, we’ve learned a few lessons over the years about raising children and dogs in the same household. Here are a few tips and tricks that have worked best in our house. Whether you’re thinking about getting a dog for your family or you’ve got one already in your home, we hope these tips save you a few headaches - and shoes to boot.

1. Choose the Right Breed for Your Family's Energy

Credit: Pexels.

Before your dog ever walks through the door of your home, the single most important decision you must make is which type of dog to get. Not all dog breeds are appropriate for all types of families - especially those with young children.

Some dog breeds are more patient, gentle, and social than others. Some breeds require more energy and have more primal instincts than others.

Poodles, for instance, are among the top breeds recommended for families with children of all ages. Not only are they among the most intelligent breeds, but their hypoallergenic coats make them ideal for any family with allergy sufferers, as well as puppies of all sizes. Perhaps most importantly, poodles are among the most gentle dog breeds available, making them brilliant companions for children of all ages.

2. Prepare Your Children Before the Dog Arrives

This step is so easy to skip when people are excited to get a dog for their children.

Children need to understand before getting a dog that dogs are living beings that have needs and feelings just like the children themselves. Dogs can feel tired, they can feel scared, and they don’t always want to be handled by their children.

Talk to your children about:

• How to approach the dog calmly: no running at them, no screaming in their face

• Reading basic body language: a tucked tail, flattened ears, or turning away means "leave me alone"

• The dog's safe space: wherever the dog sleeps or retreats to is off limits. Always.

• Gentle hands: demonstrate what gentle petting looks like before the dog arrives

For younger children especially, these conversations need to be repeated regularly. A two-year-old who understood "be gentle" in January will need reminding in June.

3. Set Boundaries From Day One - for the Dog and the Kids

Consistency is everything in the early days. Dogs learn really quickly what is happening every single time that you enforce a rule. The problem with most family homes is that different people will have different rules for the dog - or there may not be any rules at all!

Decide together, as a family, what the rules will be for the dog before the dog arrives at your home:

• Is the dog allowed on furniture?

• Are certain rooms off limits?

• Who is responsible for feeding, and when?

• Where does the dog sleep?

Once you've agreed, you all stick to it. If Mum tells the dog that it's not to have table scraps but the children are sneak them under the table, the dog is going to be a confused dog - which is a difficult dog to manage.

The same applies for the other way around. The children are not to be allowed to disturb the dog while it is eating or sleeping. Even the most placid dog will snap at the wrong moment so it’s not fair to the dog to put him in that situation.

4. Supervise - Always, But Especially at First

No matter how gentle the dog, how well-behaved the child, young children and dogs should never be left unsupervised. This is not a judgement on your child or your dog, but on the fact that each of these creatures speaks a different language to one another and does not yet understand the other.

Supervision means watching over the child and dog alike, but not in an anxious way. As trust is built between the child and dog, and as both gain in confidence in the other, the need to supervise will naturally decrease.

If you would never leave your child alone with a situation that you could not predict the outcome of, then you should do the same for your dog.

5. Give the Dog Their Own Space to Decompress

Family life can be loud, full of movement, and often overwhelming for the adults in the house alone. For a young dog, it can be stressful living in such a house.

Make sure that your dog has a space that is entirely their own in the house - a crate, a bed in a corner, a room - somewhere for them to go when they need a break from all of the activity in the house. Teach the children to respect this space for the dog. When the dog goes into that space, the dog is not to be followed. Full stop.

This one rule will prevent many incidents with your dog when they feel overwhelmed by the house activities.

6. Involve the Children in Dog Care

One of the most beautiful things about growing up with a dog is the sense of responsibility it builds in children. Involve your kids in the dog's daily care in age-appropriate ways:

• Toddlers can help carry the food bowl or hold the lead on a walk (with a firm adult hand on top)

• Primary school age children can take on feeding, filling the water bowl, or helping with brushing

• Older children can assist with training, help at vet visits, and take on more of the walking routine

When children have a role in caring for the dog, the relationship becomes more equal and more respectful. The dog is no longer just a toy that belongs to the family - it's a family member that they help look after.

7. Train the Dog - And Let the Kids Help

A trained dog is a safe dog. Training can be something the whole family participates in. Teaching basic obedience commands ensures that you have control of your dog in crucial situations.

Include your children in training sessions. Not only will this teach your dog to respect all family members, but it will also give your children a sense of accomplishment. Limit training sessions to five to ten minutes for puppies using only reward methods for success.

If you find it challenging to train your dog at home yourself, do not hesitate to get in touch with professional dog trainers in your area. A few training sessions when your dog is young can save you time and frustration in the future.

8. Normalise Talking About the Dog's Feelings

This might sound a little soft for some people, but it makes a real difference - especially with younger children. Try to get into the habit of describing the dog’s emotions in simple language.

See how Milo turned away? He’s had enough cuddles for now.

Look at that tail - she’s so happy to see you!

The dog is eating now. Let’s leave him in peace.

By describing the dog’s emotions, children learn to pay attention to the dog as a living being. As children grow up with a habit of reading the body language of their dog, they tend to become more empathetic communicators in general.

9. Be Patient With Yourself and the Process

There will be difficult days. The puppy will nip. The toddler will pull the tail. Someone will cry (possibly you). There will be accidents on the carpet, torn books, and one catastrophic encounter involving the muddy dog and the sofa.

This is normal. This is part of the process. When a family comes out of this process with a well-adjusted dog and children who understand how to care for a dog, they will have something truly special.

The bond that forms between a child and a dog is one of the most remarkable bonds to witness as the children learn important lessons of kindness, responsibility, patience and love. It is truly worth every single chaotic moment.

Finding the Right Dog for Your Family

If you're just starting on your journey and still undecided about what dog breed would be best for your family, then we can’t recommend Poodles enough. Their temperament, intelligence, and suitability for family life - even with children with allergies - makes them one of the best breeds for families like ours.

If you’re looking to purchase a puppy, make sure to get them from a reputable, registered breeder for the best chance of obtaining a puppy with healthy genes. One of the best places to start your journey to finding a reputable breeder of poodle dogs is through Responsible Pet Breeders Australia.

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Disclosure: This is a collaborative post.