AD: This is a sponsored post, however all opinions are 100% my own.

I remember clearly when I fell pregnant for the first time, I googled everything, signed up for NCT classes and bought so many books! I didn’t have a bunch of older sisters to tell me what to expect and so this was my way to learn.

The problem was there was nothing available for my husband so we muddled through with him not really feeling he knew enough or was part of it.

There were many questions unanswered which only another father would be able to help with. The things we did find were all a bit of a joke. As if just making me a cup of tea or taking the bins out would solve every pregnancy worry and he had done his duty.

All the details we have to uncover are often left to the mother. Luckily my Hubby is very hands on and wanted to help. He sat with me, listened to all the issues I had each week and tried to make sense of them with me. Because after all, us new mums don’t know what we’re doing either!

After this first hand experience, I’m delighted to review a new book for fathers-to-be by DADDILIFE books ‘You’re Going to Be a Dad!’

So how is this book different and does it help new parents?

The nitty gritty

The first thing that strikes me is that ‘You’re Going to Be a Dad!’ is a book for dads who really care about understanding on a deeper level what is happening to their baby, partner, and even the science behind it.

Without being too overwhelming the author takes you through all the major stages you come across from the minute you decide you would like to conceive. So that’s before you are even pregnant! At the start, it covers IVF, miscarriage, and ovulation.

As the book continues you discover the realities of things you may never come across, but it’s always better to know about such as preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, and premature babies. I’m so pleased this is mentioned as my first child was premature and not one class or book told me what to expect should this happen.

After the past year, it makes sense that the impact of Covid is mentioned through real-life quotes from fathers who have experienced the different restrictions while their babies were being born. They share their insights and how this was managed for them. Some met their partner in the hospital corridors for little walks to reconnect and others found the lack of visitors actually more intimate and a moment for just you two as a couple.

Week by week

Not only can you follow your pregnancy by the trimester and learn what this is! Each week of pregnancy is also broken down into what to expect. The medical terms which might be mentioned are listed and explained. You will also find out what is physically happening with your partner’s body at the time so you can be more in tune with each other's needs.

I say ‘each other’ as quite rightly the book is written very much with the idea that the whole experience is a joint one and happening to a couple as a unit. It’s not something that the mother is getting on with while the dad-to-be carries on as normal. I think this fits so much better with the way we parent now and how much most fathers want to be involved.

Reflections

One of my favourite parts of the book is the ‘Reflections from our dads’. These are so valuable and literally answer every question any dad or mum would like to know.

They cover everything from if your sex life will change, to how to change a nappy. Where to buy things more cheaply and being a good role model. If you should have had kids sooner - which might surprise you! Whether you ever feel ‘ready’ to be a parent? The feeling when they fall asleep on you - ahhh. And that no one really knows how to play with dolls!

I feel like this should be a book by itself because it just makes us feel understood. We all have these worries and it makes you realise how connected we are.

What do you need to do?

If you’re an action taker one of the ways to cope with the idea of a new baby is to get organised. After each weekly section, you’ll find a checklist, which is perfect if you’re struggling to know what comes next.

Here you’ll find everything from what to ask at the doctor’s appointments to what to buy for morning sickness. What should you talk about for the birth plan and what should be in the hospital bag? It’s so useful to have this all in one place and mentioned at just the right stage for you to prepare it all in time.

It also takes away some anxiety as it’s really common to think too far ahead and concern yourself with something that you don’t need to tackle for a few months yet. I really wanted to drive the hospital route in month 3 and actually, we ended up in a completely different hospital! So conserve your energies for the right things.

What happens next?

The last part of the book is wonderful as it cleverly talks about what happens once you have your baby. Not much is really said about this but often the hardest stage then begins.

The first year is broken down into the first few days, then weeks, and then months. This is crucial as what you and your partner experience in the first year are tough, no doubt.

From all the practical things you have to think about such as weaning, motor skills, colic, and birthmarks. To how you are both feeling mentally which can change rapidly due to tiredness and hormones. There’s a great list of things to look out for in your partner as she recovers. Then a section on how you are coping as a dad as you enter this whirlwind new life!

‘You’re Going to Be a Dad!’ is such an excellent read for any new parent. I see it being a go-to parenting bible as you journey through your first two years from trying to conceive to your first year of fatherhood. Life can get chaotic at times and knowing you have this to refer back to will be so valuable.

The book is written by the team at DaddiLife.com which is an amazing Parenting Website for Dads. They’ve been supporting fathers for over 5 years now and offer a wealth of information on all aspects of fatherhood.