What to Do When Your Child Has a Tantrum


Tantrums are a natural part of children’s lives (and sometimes even adults), and there is a good reason for this. However, that does not mean you have to stand by and tolerate them. Understanding why a child is having a tantrum is an important part of helping them and making the situation easier for everyone. 

This piece will take a look at what you should do when a child has a tantrum and how you can help them calm down.

Credit: Unsplash.

Why Do Children Have Tantrums? 

There are many reasons that children have tantrums, but the bottom line is that it is difficult for them to regulate their emotions. Not only this, but they are also unable to express their emotions in a way that is useful to them and gets their point across. This can be extremely frustrating and upsetting, which causes them to have a small meltdown. Disappointment, anger, fear, frustration, sadness- these are all big emotions and can sometimes just come out as a full-blown tantrum to release them. 

Find Out the Problem 

Finding out why your toddler is upset is the first port of call for nipping any toddler tantrum in the bud. You will find that the problems can be caused by a variety of things that might not even make sense to you, such as a piece of toast being broken in half or finding something on the floor that should not be there; to more understandable things such as having the TV turned off or being told it is bedtime. Knowing why your child is unhappy can help you either talk it out with them or help you understand their behavior. 
If this becomes a recurring theme or seems to be a regular response to different stimuli, there could be more going on than meets the eye. Implementing therapy could be beneficial if your toddler screams at bedtime every night, as this could be an anxiety issue that needs addressing, rather than an outburst at having to do something they do not want to do. 

Offer Some Distraction

If your child is having a tantrum over something that is superficial, such as acting irrationally because they have not been able to have their afternoon nap, then offering a distraction can be a great way of calming them down and giving them something else to focus on
Start a new activity or conversation that they will be able to engage with, and soon they should be able to forget about their initial turmoil.


Offer Some Control

It can be easy for any human to lash out when they do not feel like they have control over something, and this is a common experience for children who have little autonomy over their life.  For example, if you still need your child to go to bed, which is not up for negotiation, you can offer them something like which pyjamas would they like to put on or which story would they like to hear before they go to sleep. This gives them some control in the situation, even if it isn’t about the main issue.


Disclosure: This is a collaborative post.